1981 Volvo 242, 240 Coupe, 240 Two Door--Excellent Condition, Fully Refurbished

Wagonmeister here.   Shopping for a Volvo 240. are you?  Are you a Volvo fan?  A 240 fanatic?  C'mon now. share!  Does your door mat say “Welcome” in Swedish?  Do you know every color and code Volvo has put on a car since 1958?  Do you ignore the 2002 Viper driving by. but nearly have a heart attack when a clean. 67 1800ES passes?  Which direction does the rubber plug in your timing cover face?  Volvo part number in or out?  Does your family album include a picture of your parents bringing you home from the hospital in a 1960 PV?  If so. then this may be your car.   Have you been looking for a 240 but are disappointed at what you've seen?  Read on. oh follower of the Iron Logo. read on!  But be prepared to set a spell.   My auctions tend to run to the long side.  

Summer in California means it's time to pull out the “fun” car and hit the road.   This could be just the one to do it in.   That's right. it's Ho-lly-wo-o-o-d.   Put on the sunglasses. drop the top. jump in and let's cruise PCH. baby.  Or how about Sunset strip. Malibu. the Palisades?  Hot dogs at Pinks.   Dinner at CitiWalk.   What's that you say?  The top won't go down?  Well that's true. but c'mon c'mon. it's still summer in SoCal. and you can have fun fun fun until your daddy takes the T-bird away. even if the T-bird is a Volvo.   This car is dying to run. and not just in California.   Man. use your imagination--can you see yourself touring the Adirondacks in this coupe?  Crossing the heartland?  It will take you anywhere.  And if you don't have enough hair left to blow in the wind. well. we'll make sure the photographer catches you with your Dodger's cap on.   Er. Red Sox cap.   Yankees.   Whatever.   Not planning on driving in L. A. ?  No sweat. we will help arrange shipping if necessary.   This car is a kick to drive and let's face it. two doors are so cool…. and becoming harder to find.

This is not a car purchased and prepped by Wagonmeister for sale.   Instead. this is a car belonging to a Wagonmeister customer.   I helped him find and qualify this car about a year ago.   Originally from the Pacific Northwest. the car was shipped to L. A. and then brought here for extensive refurbishing with just about 58. 00 miles.   Now showing 61. XX. this is probably the cleanest. low mileage coupe you've seen in this condition since Kurt Russell had no gray hair.   Since Tom Cruise drove a '49 Roadmaster.   Since…well. you get the picture.   Not only did this car receive a ton of attention mechanically. but like I said. this is Hollywood.   No 240 is this clean without “a little work”.   The car spent a day with the paintless dent guys and is virtually free of the little parking lot dings and similar “patina” that gets your friends looking at you sideways at the car wash.   You know what I mean.   That woman from the wine shop down the street turns to her pal and says. just a little too loudly. “Heavens. why doesn't Shirley do something about that parking lot ding in the door?  It just adds 20 years. don't you think?  And she should really see someone about that dangling mud flap.   Nothing she does can hide that”.   Just completely detailed. the car's paint was cut and polished and shines like a klieg light reflecting off Samuel Jackson's head.   Glass is perfect.   In fact this car received a new windshield as part of the refurbishing process.   No leaks from rock hard. 32-year-old butyl rubber around the glass.   No blinding reflections from pitted glass as you motor into the sunset.   This is #146 Mist Brown and the interior is period correct GL. brown velour. although this car is a DL.   Four speed manual trans. the M-46 gearbox with Laycock overdrive. is in correct. working condition.   We have a fresh Auto-Check report on hand that we'll be happy to forward.   Please note. as is the case with many cars from cooler climes. it does NOT have AC.   It's awful for your sinuses anyway.  

So. like. “dude”. you are saying “what IS up?  Like. the car looks awesome. but can it act?”  Yes. indeed. this car can dance.   Vehicle's suspension was completely gone through.   It sports heavier anti-sway bars front and rear from iPD. 25mm front. 22mm rear. with urethane front bushings.   Bilstein Heavy Duty shocks and struts.   Wagonmeister urethane rear trailing arm bushings and torque rod bushings.    The car is also wearing a near-new set of Yokohama tires.   It handles beautifully. rides perfectly.   No clunks. no rattles. no problems.     

But is that all?  IS THAT ALL?  Where is Billy Mays when we need him?  “Wait…. there's more!”  Like everything else. the engine bay on this car was gone through down to the last.   New valve cover gasket and front and rear cam seals.   New intermediate shaft seal. New crankshaft seal.   All accessory bushings replaced with urethane.   Intake tract completely serviced.   Injectors and fuel meter cleaned.   New fuel system accumulator installed.   Fuel pump check valve replaced.   New motor mounts installed.   New rack and pinion installed.   Timing belt and tensioner replaced.   All accessory drive belts replaced.   Flame trap upgraded Wagonmeister style for better flow and less mess.   Alternator through bolt replaced.   Engine bay completely degreased and scrubbed out and a powder coated valve cover installed just for bling value.   Distributor serviced.   Plugs and wires done.   Ignition control module replaced.   Thus. completely tuned as far as fuel and ignition systems.   New splash pan installed.   Front end aligned.   Full brakes front and back with the correct. organic pads. new rotors and brake hardware.   New oxygen sensor installed.   Full cooling system flush and new thermostat.   New exhaust installed from the catalytic converter back and the cat appears to have been recently replaced.   We even replaced the differential cover gasket and changed the diff oil with synthetic lube.   Oil was changed and the car was given an Auto-RX treatment (auto-rx dot com).   The oil has been changed twice since.   Trans was flushed and filled twice.   Overdrive wiring and control system gone through. works perfectly.   Drive shaft fully serviced with new center bearing. u-joints and bellows—and balanced.   New transmission rear mount installed.   Clutch return spring replaced and clutch properly adjusted.   Master cylinder just replaced 1000 miles ago.   We even removed the battery tray. cleaned out all the surface rust and filth and refinished that area.  

Okayokayokay. you are saying. it's sound mechanically.   But this town is all about appearances!  How does the interior rate?  How will it hold up on the runway?  The pictures speak for themselves.   This car has every piece of exterior trim in place and in very good condition as you can see.   Inside. the car received the signature Wagonmeister once over.   Everything comes out.   Seats have been re-supported to assure the foam is solid.   Again. as you can see these are seats from a GL. though the car is a DL.   We have no way of knowing if the car was ordered this way or not. but I expect not.   Probably swapped in at some point.   The seat covers are all in excellent condition.   Carpet and door panels all scrubbed clean.   No latent gummy bears squashed under the e-brake console. no Barbie berets full of hair stuffed in the back seat.   Matching front and back deck mats to keep the sun off those surfaces.   Exterior window squeegees replaced.   Visor clips. shift boot. door handles. window cranks—all in good condition and proper working order.   Factory radio in place and working!  All bumper trim in good condition. not scraped and torn. Any interior and/or exterior trim that was damaged was replaced.  There was one tiny spot of rust at the bottom of the windshield.   It was treated when the windshield was removed and retouched.   A good match.   Car was fitted with brand new. stainless trim rings to complement the original center wheel covers.   The glovebox is spotless and includes the original owner's manual/dealer kit. and the car on the cover is the same color--neat!  Trunk is immaculate.   Proper spare. jack and tool kit in place.  

Baby. boobie. this is “The One”!  (Keanu Reeves notwithstanding)  Call your agent.   Call your publicist.   Call the Marines. but call to drive this car if you are local. and you are serious.   If you are not local. feel free to pepper me with questions via e-mail. or call for further details.   I may not have every scrap of information on hand. but I can certainly get it. In addition to my repair records. the car comes with a huge folder full of paperwork going back to nearly the ice age.   Well. mid-eighties. which is almost the ice age. if my kids are to be believed.   I will gladly link you to the owner's Photobucket album which has tons of pix of the car.   Also happy to e-mail you any pix you wish so you can view them in the comfort of your own. $80k home theater that you built with the proceeds of that film with Dennis Rodman.   Don't have a home theater?  Ask Dennis!  On the outs with Dennis? Ah well. you can view them on the old computer. or you can see slide shows of the car at the Wagonmeister website.   If you are not serious. ….  Well. last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas.   How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.   So if you are not serious. call Groucho. but please don't bid. and please don't come to kick tires.   I will be handling appointments to view the car at the owner's convenience.   Phone is 661-267-2773.   Leave a message. I'll be happy to call you back.   Always nice to chat Volvos. even with Dennis Rodman.

“So”. you are saying. “this looks pretty nice. but this is an o-o-o-ld car.   What can I expect?  Is it going to be lovely today. fraught with trouble tomorrow?  What about any lingering issues from previous owners?  Did anyone die in the car?  Any ghosts. goblins. ghouls or doppelgangers haunting the vehicle?” 

Enough!  Time we put all those rumors about the quality control inspector at the Gothenburg plant to rest. Such a sordid tale. The stuff movies are made of. though I must admit. we couldn't interest Spielberg when we spoke to him ten years ago. and the promised lunch just has NOT come to pass.  Imagine that.   His people. our people. I dunno.

Oh. sorry.   What about the QC inspector?  Well. as the story has it. it was a dark and stormy night at the main plant in Gothenburg.   Annika Pilkvist. recently transferred to QC from accounting. was making a routine inspection of the rubber insulator mat assembly area when she chanced upon five members of the unit-body sub-assembly team huddled secretively around a worktable in the elektriska apparater (electrical apparatus) store room.   Hearing dice. she approached the workers and demanded to know what they were doing. at which point they stepped aside to reveal…. A PARCHEESI BOARD. and surrounded by bottles of seltzer water. illegally imported Nacho Cheese Doritos and stacks of bills. no less.   In fear of losing their jobs. the workers turned on poor Annika. and that's when things got ugly.   They chased her along a suspended walkway.   Sadly. Annika tripped over a misplaced lunch bucket full of smoked mackerel and went head over heels to the floor below. where she was caught in a stamping press and forever embossed on the trunk lid of a 240 sedan.   Ever since that day. there have been rumors of opening Volvo trunks to the sound of screaming…. and the smell of smoked fish.      

Do I believe the story?  Should you?  Hogwash!  Poppycock!  Pradswattle!  This car carries no such stigma and. having been shaken down for a year and a few thousand miles. you should have nothing at all to worry about.   Well. granted. we do once in awhile hear a strange sound when the trunk lid is raised. but seriously folks:  Ghosts in the works?  Not a chance.   Besides we've had the car blessed by three priests and a rabbi. and the owner is a respected medical man—he's reported no cause for alarm.   Of course he has commented about the noises in the garage.   But he's a Mercedes Benz and BMW fan.   We can only trust him so far.   He's probably hearing some dreadful noise from the 2002Ti and blaming it on the Volvo.   We bear him no ill will though.   Right?  Of course right.

Why then is the owner selling?  As noted. this gentleman is a little more into other marques than he is into Volvos.   There is a new project on the boil requiring attention.   He very much wants this beautiful coupe to go to someone who will enjoy it more. and store it less.     

This car is absolutely ready to go.   You should have no reservations about picking it up in L. A. and driving it to Poughkeepsie. or Palatine. or Portland. or Pakuba.   Oh. wait. Pakuba is in Uganda.   You'll have to wait for them to finish the new bridge.   But just about anyplace else.   The trans is strong. the engine is sound.   Yes. the car is being sold as is. where is.   Full disclosure has been made via this auction.   Please note that the plates in the picture will NOT go with the car.  If you purchase and are coming in from out of state. we'll try and make arrangements to collect you if you come to a nearby terminus.   A deposit of $500 is due via PayPal ONLY. within 24 hours of close of auction.   Balance in cash. to be presented to the owner of the vehicle at time of pickup.   Any other arrangements for payment will have to be handled directly with the owner after the auction is closed.   I will put the winner in touch with the owner at that time. Please remember I am the listing "agent". in Palmdale.   The car is near Camarillo. CA.  

 If you are still with me (ya-a-a-wn) then bid early. bid often. bid to win!  Thanks for watching. reading. nodding…. zzzzzzzz

Also published at eBay.com

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